The Wonders of Woodrunner

In a very great city, there are always hard-working individuals that provide a backbone of talent, entertainment, and the enjoyment of finer things in life. The Chicagoan set out to find one person to exemplify all three. There is no other that better expresses Chicago’s appeal than Miss Una Woodrunner.

Beginning her Chicago career as a disc jockey (DJ), Miss Woodrunner owes much of her start to the culturally dynamic duo of Mister Shepham Moorlord and Misses Starla Huntress Moorlord. When Miss Woodrunner stepped off the train from New York (she will not reveal her reasons for leaving the other biggest U.S. city), she knew that she needed to discover the most powerful people. That requires ASKING the right people, so she sought out the owners of the classiest club in town: The Fiume. One afternoon, dressed impeccably, Miss Woodrunner visited the nightclub, tastefully an hour before opening. When Mister Moorlord first laid eyes on Miss Woodrunner, he knew that they could do business together. He was quick to introduce the stunning brunette to his wife, and fortunately for him, they became fast friends.

As readers know, Misses Moorlord had owned the hugely popular Colosimo’s Restaurant. With an insightful perception, she always sizes up every interesting newcomer to tap the best talent. With flair for entertainment, Misses Moorlord was thrilled to discover that Miss Woodrunner had performance experience. Colosimo’s was at its peak then, as this was prior to the tragic murder that signified the popular restaurant’s demise (or maybe it was because the owners went on to bigger and better things).

Long-time residents will recall the twinkly summer evenings spent first dining on Mama’s great cuisine while entertained by Miss Woodrunner’s eclectic recording collection. Walking off a full meal, no one can forget strolling through the park as the music wafted out from the restaurant’s windows. All admired the city’s unexpected beauty and its expected elegant entertainer! Although soft-spoken, Miss Woodrunner exudes confidence and composure. She lives to please her audiences and customers through a consistent dedication to her craft.

Una as DJ

Miss Woodrunner hostesses as a DJ at the best private speakeasies in the city: The Boom Boom Lounge and The Chop Shop.

While The Chicagoan searches to profile role models in Chicago, there are so many opportunities for courageous women that the fairer sex often dominates these pages. (Perhaps this should be a message to the guys to become more creative. Or maybe it is because there are less guys around since the Great War gobbled up so many.) The women of Chicago represent the best of hard-working professionals. Miss Woodrunner’s career is an exemplary example when creative thinking meets opportunity.

Una attends events

Miss Woodrunner is always seen at the hottest events in town from the St. Valentine's Day Ball to east side blues clubs, to St. Patrick's Day celebrations. She is always perfectly attired and tries to always be appropriate.

To settle in with a good salary as a DJ, Miss Woodrunner added more gigs such as the Chop Shop and, eventually, the most-popular Boom Boom Lounge. She continued her dance classes and practiced everyday, filling in as an understudy to advance her skills. Since a little girl, Miss Woodrunner has dreamed of being a dancer more than any other preoccupation. Her greatest joy comes from pleasing others with her talents. Uncommonly beautiful, she even defies many of the current fashions such as bobbed hair and flattened chests. More than half of Miss Woodrunner’s growing fans are male, and because her goal is to please, she knows how to use her beauty to provide. Miss Woodrunner is very respectful of fantasy and the freedom to pursue the imagination. She lets no grass grow under her stilettos while she is also one of the most dependable workers in town!!

Una performs at home

Even at home, Miss Woodrunner demonstrates the ultimate in glamour. Multi-talented, she entertains her more private guests with a special ambience.

When astute businessman Mister Moorlord opened The Empire Burlesque Theater to showcase his wife’s dancing (thus propelling her to stardom), he had his eyes on Miss Woodrunner as well. Through her husband’s recommendation, Misses Moorlord collaborated with Miss Woodrunner, finding that they both share a vision of building larger audiences.

Una dances

Miss Woodrunner demonstrates her flair for the dramatic by dancing at The Empire Burlesque.

On Saturday nights, growing crowds are enjoying the ever-changing and dazzling acts these two glamor girls create, alongside Miss Mercedes Faith. There, Miss Woodrunner is in her glory. Collecting admiring and delighted stares is like a shot of adrenalin to her—it provides a thrill for her that is unparalleled by other activities. She describes: “The burlesque combines my talents with my poetic [albeit erotic] expressions, love of costume, and development of drama. I enjoy sharing my fantasies with others, as I believe they have them too.”

Shep supervises

Mister Shepham Moorlord, dressed more casually than usual, supervises the staging of Miss Woodrunner's latest act.

Even though her performance star is on the rise, Miss Woodrunner has another side to her character that pulls her ambitions: her long-term goal of having a tea/flower shop. At heart, under all the finery and display, beyond the tantalizing and teasing, Miss Woodrunner values the finest things of life: beauty, friends, and quality time.

Un poses as candy

Miss Woodrunner looks appetizing while she poses at the beginning of her candy-dancing performance.

It is understood that many who move to Chicago want to forget their past and get a fresh new start. Though irresistibly mysterious, Miss Woodrunner’s silence about her history demonstrates her discretion. And her hardworking record in Chicago demonstrates her solid character. She deserves to be rewarded with the ultimate dream of her own shop, which landowner Mister Moorlord is more than happy to rent to her.

Una at her shop.

Miss Woodrunner's flower shop is the height of sophistication and elegant beauty, much as the lady herself. At the end of the day, Miss Woodrunner is a lady, albeit one that has lost her inhibitions

Miss Woodrunner enjoys a lifestyle of the deepest enjoyment. From afternoons on her terrace to evening performances, she never experiences a dull moment, and neither do Chicagoans who are grateful for her devotion and contibution to the city’s culture.

Una hostesses

Miss Woodrunner entertains her new good friend Miss Medier, who makes friends with all those whim she interviews.

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One Response

  1. What a wonderful article about my good friend and dance partner!!!! Una you are truly a wonderful person 🙂

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