Stay Tuned
July 24, 2012

To all my loyal readers—please stay tuned as I will be updating this publication. For those who are new, please enjoy this 1920s saga. Always inspired, Eleanor


Love is in the Air
September 28, 2011

Although citizens were not happy when Misses Starla Huntress Moorlord and Mister Shepham Moorlord—leading Chicago citizens—eloped last year, these leaders finality made up for it. Crictics speculated that the wealthiest guy in town did not want to spend the money on a fancy wedding, thus depriving residents of what they love the most: a spectacle. But second to that, everyone loves a great party, and that is what the one-year anniversary celebration provided. Finally. It took a year. But dancers and music lovers alike were pleased to celebrate the one year anniversary of Misses and Mister Moorlor’s secret nuptials. Better late than never.

Fiume anniversary party

Anniversary party at the Fiume Jazz Lounge has a huge turnout.

All the other leading citizens of Chicago had to be there. This was one of those mandatory events that if missed, will harm reputations and careers. Astute business owners—especially the undercover ones—were wise to pay their respects to those that direct all development in the city.

citizens celebrate

Residents from every social strata in the city celebrate the anniversary of Misses and Mister Moorlord, entertained first by Miss Una Woodrunner's selection of vintage tunes and then Mister Harry Frychester's quite original performance of classics—most of which are dedicated to the romantic couple paying for the party.

Such leaders as the Moorlords do set trends. Just recently, readers may recall, that Mayor KJ Kiranov eloped with the glamorous and ladylike Miss Xyza Armistice. This kind of behavior can set trends that can put catering companies and dance halls out of business. And it deprives friends, relatives, and nosey neighbors of a fun event.

Yet private marriages, while kind to the pocketbook, are also simple. Large marriages can be stressful for working professionals. So it should come as no surprise to readers that Miss Eleanor Medier betrothed Doctor Heavy Writer last weekend—with their dog and twelve of their horses as witnesses.

Medier marries Writer

The city's latest elopement, of Miss Medier and Doctor Writer, is of surprise to no one.

Private weddings can still be quite romantic if settings are carefully chosen. The more casual, with some spontaneity for spice, the better. However, this is not to say that large marriages and more formal events should not be embarked upon! There are many couples that wish to share their love with others in what then become memorable celebrations. Marriage is, after all, a type of passage—a change from thinking individually to thinking collectively.

Quixote marries Graves

The large wedding of Misses Quixote to Mister Graves is the event of the season.

Pressure is also taken off those who sneak off to get married when there are those who choose to be more generous in sharing their good fortune. Last weekend also celebrated the elegant and sumptuous wedding of Miss Paradise Quixote to Mister Mikk Graves. Misses Graves is very popular in Chicago as a favorite helper. She serves on juries, works in the bank, and dances at the Boom Boom on weekends. Mister Graves, on the other hand, is less known. He seems to be a businessman who keeps his affairs close to, or inside, his vest. Because of Miss Quixote’s large circle of friends, their wedding was the event to end the summer on a high note and satisfied the social needs of everyone there.

Chicagoans celebrate such nuptial unions as good for the city. Watching the romantic escapades of those in power is one of the population’s favorite topics for conversation. And so many romantic celebrations at once do take attention away from activities that sometimes best remain in the dark. Setting all other more serious cares aside, residents clink their collective champagne glasses, and drink to the happiness of those writing the headlines.

Chicago Boasts Bombshell Leadership
September 13, 2011

Often eclipsed by the more visible nightclubs and speakeasies in Chicago, the cultural side of enterprise is certainly grabbing a toe-hold. Strolling in the fog from the mills along the river, evading the winds that come from the west (bringing odiferous nasties from the stock yards), and dodging the rail road tracks that crisscross downtown like veins, the aesthetic achievement might seem quiet by comparison, yet is flowering. Citizens don’t hear enough about Chicago’s achievements in architecture, literature, painting—or certainly in film!

Chicago filmmakers are pioneering moving pictures. With stars like Charlie Chaplin and Gloria Swanson, films created here are shown internationally. So it is no surprise that Chicago should be a mecca for the ambitious and the up-and-comers. The more beautiful the better. The more innocent, the more fun to taunt. The more talented, the better the chances of reaching the silver screen. The more connected, the wealthier, with or without talent.

Even The Chicagoan‘s own Miss Eleanor Medier came naively to the city. She has experienced her own form of initiation as a young innocent arriving from the country. Now established as a journalistic professional, she has sympathy for those just starting out. Recalling so many who bring talent and glamour to these pages, the transformation from newbie to sophisticate is always entertaining. It doesn’t hurt either to offer a helping hand.

Film studios, popping up around the permitter of the Loop, boast quite a few new stars. Essanay leads the pack of film companies, helping the community produce more movies now than Hollywood—who is trying to seduce talent away from the cold weather! Let them try!!!

In the meantime, new talent is flowing into the city and deserves to be kept busy. Audiences are flocking to the movie theaters even faster than to the live performance venues. Starting out is a challenge for the best actors and actresses; the film industry is especially glamorous. And fashion always flourishes with competition!

Newcomer and up-and-coming starlet Miss Hannah Heir exemplifies the new faces appearing in the city, with stars in their eyes and adventures on their horizons. She has hopes to be a great star one day and dazzle her friends back home in East Haven Louisiana. It is true that anything can happen here. Those that best combine talent, beauty, politics, and opportunity are the ones that will make the most headlines. Can’t help that. News is news. But with crime down for a short time on the city streets, beautiful young creatures like Miss Heir are appearing, as more feature films are shot here.

Hannah Heir

Miss Heir graces the city streets with glamour. She looks remarkably like Miss Jean Harlow who is seducing producers around the Los Angeles area after leaving Chicago—thus missing out on the opportunities here, poor thing. Competing for status as having the most beautiful blond bombshells, Chicago is willing to step up!!! Photos are generously contributed from Miss Heir.

Also, as the film industry continues to resist the pull of California, much talent is drawn from locally established performers. Miss Stormy Pixelmaid, as the city’s most popular comedian, can make the transition to moving pictures easily. Performing regularly at Miss Bea Shamrock‘s Chop Shop. Miss Pixelmaid’s material is vaudeville-style and hilariously funny!! Not to be missed!

Stormy Pixelmaid and Sylvan Shilling

Miss Pixelmaid is a consummate performer who will make headlines in the movies, no doubt. She is always seen at the hottest places in town with her dear friend and companion, Sylvan Shilling.

Although Miss Shamrock declined to be interviewed for this article, as one of the best hostesses this city can offer, it isn’t fair not to show some of her wonderful outfits. Whenever there is a contest for best dressed, she wins! No one in Chicago looks more appropriate for every ocassion than she does!

Miss Bea Shamrock

Miss Shamrock, always perfectly dressed, appears at every important occasion and is one of the hardest working women in Chicago. Plus she excels at dancing.

Miss Shamrock is the consummate hostess at the Chop Shop that supports new and seasoned talent in the city, along with the best tunes making hits on the radio.

As The Chicagoan loves to discover and promote talent, hopefully the audiences in this Greatest American City will further enjoy the performances of the new and the seasoned alike, keeping the leadership as Movie Capital of the World.

For information on upcoming activities please see

Historical notes:

The old Essanay Studios building can still be seen on Argyle Street in Chicago’s north side, as part of St. Augustine College. Because Thomas Edison demonstrated moving pictures at the Chicago World’s Fair in 1893, interest of producing films sprouted the industry. But the city lost then to Hollywood due to politics (what a surprise!), money (bigger surprise!), and freedom (always an artistic quest).

Jazz and Pizzazz
August 29, 2011

Perhaps Chicago is a place of extremes. A city that inspires the most notorious crime is also the city that celebrates with the most exuberance. A city that creates barons of industry is also the city that defines cultural relevance. Attracting such a melting pot of citizens from all over the world is destined to define American values. Chicagoans are not shy about expressing opinions and preferences. Citizens undoubtedly represent the honest opinions of most people, just voiced a bit louder.

When a new club opens, there have to be patrons from every social strata. This is what makes Chicago so colorful—the accessibility and fluidity of social groups. Anyone who’s reputation needs to be improved can do so simply by shopping on Michigan Avenue, presenting an attractive silhouette, and showing up at the right places. An opening is the best place to make a personal statement and to interact with the rich, famous, and infamous.

celebrating new jazz club

The new jazz club was just filling up with regular and new residents when Miss Olinger (who doesn't like to be called Officer when off-duty) and Miss Zarco made their entrance, dancing. Mister Seranno took his usual stance on the side of the room that would make others the most nervous. But Mister Moorlord (who no longer wants to be called Chief when off-duty) and Misses Huntress Moorlord seem to easily ignore his presence. Fortunately for the other less oblivious partiers, Miss Olinger joined Miss Medier at the side table and Miss Zarco took charge of Mister Seranno, captivating everyone in the place.

The arts always flourish on a rich soil fertilized by social variety. With the opening of Jazz Alley, an impressive display of patrons set aside all other obligations and were determined to be seen—representing every strata of society. From the wealthiest guy in town, Mister Shepham Moorlord with his starlet wife Misses Starla Huntress Moorlord, to socialite and mischief-maker Miss Wilamenia Zarco, to the most loyal of all attendees Miss Stormy Pixelmaid and Miss Bea Shamrock, these ever-popular partiers were joined by the not so popular and usually stiff Mister BigJim Seranno and not too vigilant but always gorgeous Officer Chandler Olinger. Those two, of course, ignored each other totally.

But Miss Zarco is never to be ignored. Center-stage or center-party are her only comfortable positions. Not wishing to share the limelight with anyone, she demonstrated a little drama when reacting to the new movie-star young and vulnerable Miss Hannah Heir. Put two attention-grabbing women together and there is bound to be trouble. Most of the patrons politely ignored the drama between the two women, though they were completely impressed when Miss Zarco convinced the suspected-nondancer Mister Seranno onto the floor! No one present has ever seen him dance before. No one present thought the guy even capable of moving his feet very often.

Wila captivates BigJim

Miss Zarco never walks into a room; she dances, making an always memorable entrance. Flaunting her exceptional fashion style as well as her social influence, Miss Zarco has evolved from the fun young girl who arrived from the east coast into a lady of significant connections. She is the perfect example of how to get ahead in a city like Chicago: look great, captivate through humor and charm, get adopted by the right families, and make the most influential friends. Miss Zarco knows how to take advantage of opportunity. At least all of her friends hope so. Because if she doesn't know, who does?

Smart citizens tend to avoid Mister Seranno because trouble follows him like a shadow that never catches up. He is suspected of everything but no evidence ever is conclusive to reveal active involvement. Generally he hovers in the back ground, chuckling, puffing on his cigar, and piercing anyone near with his steely blue eyes. Yet somehow, while twirling Miss Zarco around the floor, the spellbound observers might, just maybe, have caught a glimpse of a softer side. It has been reported that one particularly observant patron saw him crack a smile—just for an instant—but swears it was there!! But Miss Zarco has that effect on people. Why should such a crusty guy like Mister Seranno be immune from her charms? And the increasingly larger diamonds appearing on Miss Zarco’s fingers, wrists, and around her neck would indicate that her relationship with Mister Seranno is prospering.

Within the show of such famous characters enacting out their preferences publicly, the new owners Mister Jhonny Dawlish and Miss Alinore Somerset blushed with pleasure at the attendance. Chicago has the reputation of being both the most dangerous and the friendliest of all big cities (again such a place of extremes!), so this entrepreneurial pair has bet their life-savings on this location. Charming and hidden, the new club will be well-known once those who missed the opening hear about its fantastic support of local performers. Formalizing the new musical jazz form into a club legitimizes many an aspiring performer. Soon the club will be commanding the best and the brightest, increasing the variety of great venues thriving here.

fashions show off women attendess

The women of Chicago definitely make up for in fashion what the men lack. So fun to be recognized at this cultural event, showing off the best dresses for a speakeasy evening ignites competition anyway. Miss Shamrock is always perfectly attired for any event, Miss Pixelmaid always dresses for fun, Miss Brooke fits right into styles of her new home, Miss Heir expands her starlet reputation, Miss SageWoman Juneberry always looks comfortable and cool.

It pays to know how to make the right friends in Chicago. The crowd attending and watching we so spellbound by the spectacle of Mister Seranno dancing in the center of the dance floor (versus glowering in the corner making people nervous as usual) that no one was surprised when they won the $1,000L prize for Best Couple. How could anyone possibly vote otherwise—assuming there was a vote? Even Mister Seranno seemed quite pleased with himself when he chuckled in acceptance of the award: “see what a little arm candy will do” and later “amazing what a tall blond does for an old guy.” Miss Zarco responded by batting her eyelashes.

generous new hosts

Mister Dawlish seems to be friends with Mister Seranno, especially because while dancing with partner Miss Somerset, he seemed to have a good time despite being watched. Then, while awarding their new influential patrons, Mister Dawlish and Miss Somerset gained many new friends. They are sure to be successful with their new speakeasy jazz club through their great taste in music, fantastic host and hostessing skills, great charm, and generosity. Chicago is delighted to welcome such upstanding and considerate new entrepreneurs.

The Best Dressed Award went to Miss Shamrock. Though gold seemed to be the preferred color of the evening, or black for those ladies who wish not to be noticed, Miss Shamrock dazzled in her silver and white ensemble. Annoying to those less well-dressed and with smaller budgets, it always seems that Miss Shamrock is the best dressed at every event.

In all fairness and because there were no single males to collect the Best Dressed Man award (no surprise considering how men in Chicago tend to dress), two honorable mentions were created to honor newcomers Miss Diana Brooke and Miss Heir for $250L each. And through greater generosity, Miss Somerset declared that because of her love for fringe dresses, she honored this writer with acknowledgment of $100L. Such actions are sure to make Mister Dawlish and Miss Somerset very popular in Chicago. They have not only opened the hottest new club in town, they have ingratiated themselves with their neighbors in a very charming and approval-gathering way. And they are very nice people. Chicago always welcomes new residents that are so appealing.

Finally, Miss Pixelmaid, the consummate event-attender, summed up the opening of the new jazz club the best through a single word: “swanky.”

Dreams Shared by Everyone
August 1, 2011

Perhaps the luckiest people are those who fulfill their dreams—especially the American Dream of rags to riches, incorporating financial, emotional, and physical excellence. With such a pot at the end of the rainbow, how many actually get there? In the most American City, Chicagoans are hard workers and known for discovering and creating opportunity. Follow the money. The wealthiest guy owns most of downtown and most residents rent from him. If anyone can fulfill dreams, it should be Mister Shepham Moorlord.

Having planned the three-day city Birthday celebration, wrapping up the third day also expressed Mister Moorlord’s dreams. First, who wouldn’t want a gorgeous wife like Misses Starla Shepham Moorlord? As host and hostess of the weekend’s activities, they fulfilled their own dreams by enjoying Chicago’s best in everything—music, fashion, art, friendship, and ambiance. To also be the best in food and theater furthers Chicago’s international acclaim. Sunday rounded out the city’s leadership in every ingredient of a perfect lifestyle. The last day of the celebration included:

Theater Premier

With the rise of theater in Chicago and internationally, the city boasts a movie palace on par with any place. Mister Moorlord, who of course owns the theater, took personal interest in every detail and has booked the best films to premier. bringing out the stars always guarantees a good time. With search lights and red carpets, the most culturally astute residents awaited the newest opening in their finery as large motor vehicles slid forward and deposited one celebrity after another. Mister Moorlord’s friends were unhand to assist spectators in optimum viewing positions.


Celebrities arrive in limosines at the red carpet: Miss marilyn Monroe, Mister Louis Armstrong, Miss Starla Huntress Moorlord, and Miss Paradise Quixote.

Cozy and plush, the eclectic crowd filled the lower floor and spilled into the upper balcony. One of chicago’s greatest charms is the social intermingling of many professions, ethnic groups, and economic classes. Audiences and patrons always bring a mix of viewpoints and tastes with shoulders rubbing not far from the politicians. But like any big city, the wealthy always have their entourage, and Mister Moorlord is no exception. Showing off his power, he commanded some of the most famous entertainers to jump on trains bound for Chicago. They have been welcomed as part of the continual stream of top acts that come through the city’s many clubs.

movie audience

Celebrities and citizens lean back in their plush seats to enjoy movie premier.

Culinary Convention

The culture in a city doesn’t run on dancing feet alone but on serving up the best cuisine. Even though Chicago is in the Midwest, the city is situated on one of the largest fresh bodies of water in the world. It is the country’s transportation hub uniting the Atlantic Ocean (via the St. Lawrence Seaway through the Great Lakes) to the Mississippi River. The bread basket of the country is also in the city’s back yard. So if anywhere in the world had great food, it better be Chicago! Boasting some of the best chefs internationally with ingredients to satisfy any preference, Colosimo’s Restaurant reigns premier. No surprise that Mister Moorlord owns the restaurant that is hostessed by his charming wife. Their hospitality and talent for throwing great events gave residents a great festival and renewed patriotism.

Colosimo's famous restaurant

Chef Mama Colosimo is world famous for her pasta, Mister Moorlord has his special corner as owner, and Misses Moorlord enjoys presiding as hostess.

What greater pleasure for after a matinee theater performance could be a great meal? Chef Mama Colosimo presides as one of the greatest Italian chefs in the world—including Italy where she visits often to exchange culinary concepts. Those wishing to enjoy fantastic pasta and to stay on the good side of Mister Moorlord are wise to make regular visits to Colosimo’s. He has his special table in the corner where he sits as if holding court. Accessible for such a wealthy guy, Mister Moorlord can always be found enjoying lasagna or chicken parmesan on a weekend night.

Patrons at restaurant

Patrons at Colosimo's Restaurant enjoy a fantastic meal: Miss Beth Bonham with Miss Amye1, Miss Reverie Boucher, Doctor Heavy Writer with Miss Eleanor Medier, and Mister Roch Warcliffe with Miss Una Woodrunner..

Futuristic Dreams

When Mister Moorlord was taking off his shoes at the end of Sunday night, he reflected on the weekend’s success. What could be better in life than to be 8 feet tall, wealthy enough to own most of one of the world’s greatest cities, be married to an entertainment star, and to command a celebration masterfully, providing enjoyment to the populace? So he went to sleep quite self-satisfied. Yet ambition is a very deep habit, so an aspiring man like Mister Moorlord is considered visionary because he always wants more—even in his dreams. So what could be even better?

dancers at dream concert

The dancers in Mister Moorlord's dream included many of his best friends: Miss Bea Shamrock, Miss Una Woodrunner, Mister Flo Wiefel-Benoir and Miss Caludie Benoir, and himself dancing with his wife as the fireworks explode in the background.

Off into sleep he went to have one of those vivid dream recreations that seem so real in every detail when recalled the next day. He dreamt that he booked an unknown group with a unique rock ‘n roll sound for the cool stage he constructed at the beach. He envisioned all his closest friends around him dancing to music—sounds that he discovered in his travels. Bringing these four creative musicians to Chicago would make him famous internationally—labeled as having sponsored music that would change the world. Because when a person already owns everything possible, the next step has to be getting into the history books. It takes more than money to do that; it takes achievement. And Mister Moorlord isn’t a scientist or an artist. He is a businessman and he prefers to keep his creative deal making out of the news. So how can he gain recognition better than putting a small percentage of his vast wealth into making art influential. More than anything, he wishes to be known as a visionary—to build a creative empire that provides a stage for others (albeit his own first) enjoyment. No one can say the richest guy in town doesn’t have his generous (strategic) side. Everyone is very grateful for the great weekend and for his sharing of this futuristic dream.

futuristic stage

The dream was about the launching of a new musical band called the Beatles.

The setting of Mister Moorlord’s dream was remarkably like the stage he built for the Miss Jive Dryke concert the night before. Just about anyone passionate about his or her work does, at one time or another, dream about about it. Because anything cared about or anything done a lot, or better yet both, seeps into the subconscious. What better place to mentally process activities than during the night when inhibitions give way to imagination? Some of Mister Moorlord’s best ideas have come from dreams!

concert audience

Audience in the dream also sits back to enjoy the concert. The subconscious likes music as much as the conscious.

In his dream, Mister Moorlord sits with his best friends in comfortable chairs, watching beautiful dancers (clad in just enough fabric to be legal), and listening to innovative new sounds coming from a band he patrons. For information on upcoming activities please see


The dream ends, as a worthy conclusion to the city's birthday party, with fireworks and dancing.

The Wonders of Woodrunner
July 11, 2011

In a very great city, there are always hard-working individuals that provide a backbone of talent, entertainment, and the enjoyment of finer things in life. The Chicagoan set out to find one person to exemplify all three. There is no other that better expresses Chicago’s appeal than Miss Una Woodrunner.

Beginning her Chicago career as a disc jockey (DJ), Miss Woodrunner owes much of her start to the culturally dynamic duo of Mister Shepham Moorlord and Misses Starla Huntress Moorlord. When Miss Woodrunner stepped off the train from New York (she will not reveal her reasons for leaving the other biggest U.S. city), she knew that she needed to discover the most powerful people. That requires ASKING the right people, so she sought out the owners of the classiest club in town: The Fiume. One afternoon, dressed impeccably, Miss Woodrunner visited the nightclub, tastefully an hour before opening. When Mister Moorlord first laid eyes on Miss Woodrunner, he knew that they could do business together. He was quick to introduce the stunning brunette to his wife, and fortunately for him, they became fast friends.

As readers know, Misses Moorlord had owned the hugely popular Colosimo’s Restaurant. With an insightful perception, she always sizes up every interesting newcomer to tap the best talent. With flair for entertainment, Misses Moorlord was thrilled to discover that Miss Woodrunner had performance experience. Colosimo’s was at its peak then, as this was prior to the tragic murder that signified the popular restaurant’s demise (or maybe it was because the owners went on to bigger and better things).

Long-time residents will recall the twinkly summer evenings spent first dining on Mama’s great cuisine while entertained by Miss Woodrunner’s eclectic recording collection. Walking off a full meal, no one can forget strolling through the park as the music wafted out from the restaurant’s windows. All admired the city’s unexpected beauty and its expected elegant entertainer! Although soft-spoken, Miss Woodrunner exudes confidence and composure. She lives to please her audiences and customers through a consistent dedication to her craft.

Una as DJ

Miss Woodrunner hostesses as a DJ at the best private speakeasies in the city: The Boom Boom Lounge and The Chop Shop.

While The Chicagoan searches to profile role models in Chicago, there are so many opportunities for courageous women that the fairer sex often dominates these pages. (Perhaps this should be a message to the guys to become more creative. Or maybe it is because there are less guys around since the Great War gobbled up so many.) The women of Chicago represent the best of hard-working professionals. Miss Woodrunner’s career is an exemplary example when creative thinking meets opportunity.

Una attends events

Miss Woodrunner is always seen at the hottest events in town from the St. Valentine's Day Ball to east side blues clubs, to St. Patrick's Day celebrations. She is always perfectly attired and tries to always be appropriate.

To settle in with a good salary as a DJ, Miss Woodrunner added more gigs such as the Chop Shop and, eventually, the most-popular Boom Boom Lounge. She continued her dance classes and practiced everyday, filling in as an understudy to advance her skills. Since a little girl, Miss Woodrunner has dreamed of being a dancer more than any other preoccupation. Her greatest joy comes from pleasing others with her talents. Uncommonly beautiful, she even defies many of the current fashions such as bobbed hair and flattened chests. More than half of Miss Woodrunner’s growing fans are male, and because her goal is to please, she knows how to use her beauty to provide. Miss Woodrunner is very respectful of fantasy and the freedom to pursue the imagination. She lets no grass grow under her stilettos while she is also one of the most dependable workers in town!!

Una performs at home

Even at home, Miss Woodrunner demonstrates the ultimate in glamour. Multi-talented, she entertains her more private guests with a special ambience.

When astute businessman Mister Moorlord opened The Empire Burlesque Theater to showcase his wife’s dancing (thus propelling her to stardom), he had his eyes on Miss Woodrunner as well. Through her husband’s recommendation, Misses Moorlord collaborated with Miss Woodrunner, finding that they both share a vision of building larger audiences.

Una dances

Miss Woodrunner demonstrates her flair for the dramatic by dancing at The Empire Burlesque.

On Saturday nights, growing crowds are enjoying the ever-changing and dazzling acts these two glamor girls create, alongside Miss Mercedes Faith. There, Miss Woodrunner is in her glory. Collecting admiring and delighted stares is like a shot of adrenalin to her—it provides a thrill for her that is unparalleled by other activities. She describes: “The burlesque combines my talents with my poetic [albeit erotic] expressions, love of costume, and development of drama. I enjoy sharing my fantasies with others, as I believe they have them too.”

Shep supervises

Mister Shepham Moorlord, dressed more casually than usual, supervises the staging of Miss Woodrunner's latest act.

Even though her performance star is on the rise, Miss Woodrunner has another side to her character that pulls her ambitions: her long-term goal of having a tea/flower shop. At heart, under all the finery and display, beyond the tantalizing and teasing, Miss Woodrunner values the finest things of life: beauty, friends, and quality time.

Un poses as candy

Miss Woodrunner looks appetizing while she poses at the beginning of her candy-dancing performance.

It is understood that many who move to Chicago want to forget their past and get a fresh new start. Though irresistibly mysterious, Miss Woodrunner’s silence about her history demonstrates her discretion. And her hardworking record in Chicago demonstrates her solid character. She deserves to be rewarded with the ultimate dream of her own shop, which landowner Mister Moorlord is more than happy to rent to her.

Una at her shop.

Miss Woodrunner's flower shop is the height of sophistication and elegant beauty, much as the lady herself. At the end of the day, Miss Woodrunner is a lady, albeit one that has lost her inhibitions

Miss Woodrunner enjoys a lifestyle of the deepest enjoyment. From afternoons on her terrace to evening performances, she never experiences a dull moment, and neither do Chicagoans who are grateful for her devotion and contibution to the city’s culture.

Una hostesses

Miss Woodrunner entertains her new good friend Miss Medier, who makes friends with all those whim she interviews.

Behind Closed Doors
June 20, 2011

If anyone is wondering why news in Chicago is so quiet as of late, it is because citizens are operating quite stealthily. Everyone knows the gangster groups are in conclict—but they have burrowed beneath the streets with secret and secure tunnels by which to continue their ambitious commerce. Quite practiced and adept at avoiding police, these less than law-abiding citizens are sneakier and more creative than ever. Though Chief Chandler Olinger would not like to admit it, law enforcement has been lax, which really doesn’t express the half of it!

shooting at the blues club

Gun fire breaks out at the Naked Blues Club. But dancers, so used to such mischief, obviously continue dancing.

The Chief has fallen in love, and those who have experienced such an affliction can appreciate the distraction that it can cause. She has even been seen gazing into her intimate’s eyes and dance while gun fire exploded around her—but again, this is behind closed doors.
shooting at blues club

Jake Hanson is a hero as he battles the unknown gunwoman who burst into the blues club. The ladies finally realize the danger and duck to the group to avoid the cross-fire.

Nonetheless, there has been no shortage of frivolity. The burlesque is steaming through Saturday in full tantalizing color, the Chop Shop rocks on Sunday night with comedy and spontaneity, and Wednesday night is soulful when getting lost in Doctor Heavy’s blues.
audience enjoys the burlesque

Miss Bea Shamrock with Mister Jakob Faulds, and Miss Gwendolyn Jenivive with Mister Clyde Haven, enjoy Misses Starla Huntress Moorlord's creative disrobing.

So perhaps the citizens have the right idea: maybe ignoring the bootlegging, occassional tommy gun battles, and unsavory characters wandering around late at night is the best policy. Afterall, these things are going to happen anyway. It is easy to blame prohibition for all this mischief, but boys will be boys. And it is the opinion of this respected publication that prohibition is not only an inconvenience, but actually inspires new ambitions.
fun at the blues club

Miss Tiffy Vella and Judge Want2 Tinkle entertain visitors at the blues club when Doctor Heavy Writer was busy in his first duty as the city's reigning medical professional. Old dear friends of hostess Miss Eleanor Medier, they sit up late at the bar talking.

In the meantime, not advocating that anyone break the laws, if any citizen has a suggestion for a better policy, please step forward and help Mayor KJ Kiranov who, by the way, is still on his (what now is of record duration!) honeymoon. And citizens seem a bit miffed about losing out on the pleasure of seeing a big flashy wedding—especially because First Lady Xyza Armistice Kiranov is a fashion leader! Everyone misses out on how much style she would display!

Every day in Chicago is a great day for singing the blues:Doctor Foreman plays piano, Miss Lakelynn singing (with help from Doctor Writer's German Shepherd Muddy), Chief Olinger looks great in aqua, and Miss Beth Bonham demonstrates some creative new moves.

After a hard day of work, though it isn’t bad to shed working outfits and slip on the stilettos or spats, fringed dresses or fancy suits, and step out for the night. Just be sure to park close to the entrance, and carry a discreet pistol (with permit of course). Check with Miss Wila Zarco for suggestions on creative places and activities!

FLASH: Currents of Change
April 25, 2011

It does not pay to be complascent in Chicago. Happy with the reputation of being the ‘lightning city’ due to exploding population growth, the capital of the Midwest welcomes new citizens of all nationalities. Some of these transplants even arrived doubting that Chicago can live up to its reputation of being the friendliest city until they arrive and find everyone not only super friendly, but more than interested in doing business, and in details of their business specifically. Afterall, the city is determined to be strong in every aspect of the best life: agricultural center for fresh cuisine [everyone manages to ignore the wind when coming the wrong direction from the stockyards], business hub [never mind that much of the business is conducted under the table or in the back room], fantastic entertainment [growing ever-more risqué], cultural landmarks [well almost, if the tight-fisted politicians would loosen up some cash to increase the collection for the Art Institute or build some of the monuments that will be icons the future], sports center [ok—trying to be, but there are ambitious souls willing to recruit the athletes, thus trying to rehabilitate any criminals tendencies into healthier pursuits], and shopping haven [the classiest in the country have to be here]. Chicago, as a big city, for the most part, lives up to the reputation it covets, being willing to work hard because it is also the city of big shoulders. There can be no big shoulders without a strong body underneath them. Chicago’s body is its complex interweaving of leadership in every aspect of what makes a city great. That body needs a diet of new activities. Hence this week profiles the newest and the best to increase Chicago’s so well-deserved reputation and status.

• Boom Boom Booms and Rebooms

It can’t be easy running an establishment like the super-popular Boom Boom Lounge. Astute readers will realize that in the history of this publication, there have been two previous owners. Each of them went on to bigger and better things: Miss Gigi Gartenberg became Miss Roaring 20’s and is on the road representing this great city all over the world, though her behavior often inspires heads to shake. Then there’s Mister Art Clift who has taken his very popular show that premiered here to Atlantic City. Chicago hates when that happens. So many great talents begin here, get some recognition, and then get more acclaim elswhere. Perhaps Chicago is just an ambitious place by personality, giving so many of the famous their starts. The Boom Boom Lounge is one of those establishments that discovers music and good times and it is the city’s oldest and most beloved club. So it is with great pleasure that patrons welcome new owners Miss Faelann Magic and Mister Charlie Duffield to the arena of fine establishments in the city.

Boom Boom swings

Relaxing at the more mellow Boom Boom, Miss Medier dances with Doctor Writer, owners Miss Magic with Mister Duffield, Miss Bea Shamrock with Miss Beckye , Bernstein while Miss Jadelicious Crystal and Mister Jamesbrowne Barrymore observe, served by bartender Mister Jake Hansome and DJ Miss Una Woodrunner.

Those who love a great party will find a much more mellow Boom Boom this time—a place to forget the cares of the week, to socialize, and for some, to dance. Respecting the familiar and comfortable interior so treasured by loyal visitors, Miss Magic and Mister Duffield have preserved its authenticity. There are several landmark establishments expected as a part of Chicago’s character, and the Boom Boom is a classic. The new owners’ friendliness and easy attitudes make it a pleasure to relax and enjoy the engaging company.

• Blues Blast

Things were not so peaceful at The Naked Blues Club this week. In fact, the time of quiet so enjoyed this last few weeks may be coming to an end. Confidential sources say that gun sales are up. Trouser pockets have been visibly bulging more and lady’s purses have become larger. But the wariness is warranted considering recent events.

blues club

Miss Stormy Pixelmaid and Miss Sylvan Shilling relax in the sumptuous leather chairs while Miss Bea Shamrock and Mister Jakob Faulds dance nearby.

Doctor Heavy Writer, owner of The Naked Blues with Miss Eleanor Medier‘s assistance as hostess, welcome a great crowd on Wednesday night. Blues penetrates right into the souls of Chicagoans—they crave it for aesthetic and emotional fulfillment. Hearing the best, patrons close their collective eyes and sway to the music, transported into a thoughtless moodiness of tones and feelings. New friends are made that night as Misses Bessy Lyon Avon and Mister McCole (Cole) Avon show off their own great moves and sophisticated fashion choices. Conversations buzz in the background as famous blues artist Mister Ziffy Zarf checks the place out, an old friend of Doctor Writer’s and worth listening to at every opportunity when he performs around the country.

dancing to blues

Couples swirl and sway to the best blues in Chicago at the Naked Blues Club: Miss Medier with Doctor Writer, Misses Starla Hundress Moorlord with Mister Shepham Moorlord, Miss Shamrock with Mister Jake Faulds, Misses Lyon Avon and Mister Avon, and Mister Mikk Graves arriving.

But the peace and euphorial isn’t to last—unfortunately this is what happens in Chicago on a regular basis. Whomever invented the tommy gun must be getting rich these days with the number of them appearing around corners or in alleys. Maybe it is the popularity of the newcomers Misses Lyon Avon and Mister Avon, but as they leave a wonderful evening at the blues club, they are on their way home when shots ring out from behind the church! Misses Lyon Avon is struck down by what may or may not be a stray bullet! Officers are slow on the scene, but Doctor Writer isn’t, and assesses the situation almost immediately. Being a take-charge kind of person, he orders that Misses Lyon Avon’s be transported to the hospital. There, he is joined by the dedicated and multi-talented Miss Una Woodrunner, who’s abilities in caring for others cant be denied. Her skills as an attentive nurse are highlighted when she arranges that Miss Medier donateblood to save Misses Lyon Avon’s life. Not immune to performing heroics, Miss Medier doesn’t anticipate her wooziness afterwards but is always happy to be of service to those in need.

Bessy gets in trouble.

Bessy Misses Bessy Lyon Avon is shot by a possibly stray bullet while on the way home, helped by Doctor Writer who had just entertained the victim only half an hour before at the Naked Blues Club. The good doctor operates on victim, assisted by Miss Medier's donated blood and Nurse Woodrunner's tender loving care. As Misses Lyon Avion is recovering, she invited Miss Medier and Doctor Writer to see her funeral home that juste opened, bringing one notorious customer with them: Mister Phillip Linden, may he rest in peace.

No one can forget about the shooting, however, because poor Misses Lyon Avon is seen everywhere about town in her wheel chair, against doctor’s orders. The police, still consumed with solving the now world-famous Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre, have a major conflict at their door. With the world watching, it is embarassing to still not have suspects in custody for this shocking gang-related crime. Secondly, there is now a domestic shooting of a prominent and well-needed new contributor to the city’s infrastructure, also unsolved. With her family’s undertaker enterprise, every citizen in town will eventually need Misses Lyon Avnon’s services. But there are those who wonder if she almost was to be her own first new client in her adopted city! The attempted murder may be unsolved but it is not forgotten. It has all of her new friends on guard, practicing their weapon-shooting skills, and driving their cars a little faster, especially around corners.

• Enterprising Entertainers

Perhaps the most delightful of new features that elevates Chicago yet higher on the fashion and lifestyle status charts are two new shops. It is so inspiring to see that beauty and brains do go together. Both Misses Starla Huntress Moorlord (who doesn’t really need to work because she is married to the richest guy in town—how smart is that??) and Miss Una Woodrunner (who’s multi-talented skills and ventures never cease to astonish) are inspiring all who know them with their business acumen.

hat shop

Misses Huntress Moorlord sets a new standard of fashion with her recently-opened hat shop.

For Misses Huntress Moorlord, she is having the most fun. Famous for her fashion sense, she understands how accessories make the outfit. With the opening of her new hat shop right next door to The Chicagoan office, those on the east side are very grateful to obtain such sparkle to the hard-working hard-playing warehouse district that sports most of the city’s hottest entertainment spots: The Boom Boom, the Empire Burlesque Theater, and the Naked Blues Club. All lovely and elegant ladies will now be demonstrating their own great taste with seeing who can best wear Missess Huntress Moorlord’s styles, at the same also supportive of the wife of the richest guy in town. Chicagoans are smart that way.

hat displays

Hat displays show the innovative designs off as jewels ready to enhance outfits for all fashion-consicious ladies

Miss Woodrunner receives admiration as a hard working girl because she invests her earnings into her own business. Who works harder in Chicago than Miss Woodrunner? She DJ’s jazz tunes at the Chop Shop on Sunday night, she serves during the week as a nurse at the hospital, and her patients tend to recover faster at the prospect of going to see her dance on Saturday night at the Empire Burlesque Theater. If she isn’t busy enough working for others, she now has opened the shop of her dreams selling tea and flowers to enhance the ambience of what can sometimes be a rather dreary city. Bringing beauty, talent, and color to this hard-working town makes Miss Woodrunner not only popular, but increases her fame. Such commitment to aesthetics deserves to be rewarded.

flower and tea shop

Miss Woodrunner's flower and tea shop is strategically located right by the park, offering great view of gardens without and within.

Both famous and talented, these two beautiful entertainers continue to amaze fans at their range of successes. The stars feel so lucky to have more opportunities in the 1920s than their mothers or grandmothers had. Misses Huntress Moorlord and Miss Woodrunner prove that women can have it all, especially in Chicago.

flower shop patio

The flower shop has a great patio where shoppers can relax for lemonade with the park on one side and Lake Michigan on the other. Photograph by Miss Woodrunner.

• Civic Celebration

The best news of the week is that the Easter Picnic is elegant, civilized, and uninterrupted by any mischief of any kind for a change. It may be due to the fact that Mayor KJ Kiranov is on his honeymoon with Misses Xyza Armistice Kiranov. Trouble seems to drip from him like wax from a candle. Hopefully he can find some needed peace and quiet to reflect on his unnverving pattern of attracting criminal behavior. Perhaps his new misses can have a greater positive influence on his focus and commitment to his continued service to the people of Chicago.

In the meantime, those prominent citizens intown for the holiday weekend took a quick moment out of busy schedules and family commitments to congregate in the park. Catching up on all the latest news works both ways for The Chicagoan. Not only is it the duty of this publication to report on events, it is the duty of citizens to be sure to fill Miss Medier’s ears with information [and gossip] to help her jump to the correct conclusions. It is a public service to share tips and observations.

At the picnic, the recent shooting of Misses Bessy Lyon Avon was the talk of the hour. Mister Shepham Moorlord, so busy with several of Chicago’s most popular new enterprises and the guy who already owns half of the town, was shocked to learn of the details. However, Misses Lyon Avon’s descriptions of the shooter remain very vague (everyone consumed a lot of blueberry juice at the blues club), Doctor Writer, Miss Medier, and Miss Woodrunner, who all cleaned up and repaired the damage, were happy to give vivid descriptions of the drama from their after-the-facts points of view.

Easter picnic

Celebrators at the picnic on Saturday enjoy good juice and better conversation: Misses Starla Huntress Moorlord with her husband Mister Moorlord, Misses Lyon Avon in her wheelchair accompanied by her daughter Miss Whitey Lee.

Communication is always healthy for a community. Fortunately, Chicagoans love a party. As opportunities to see friends, catch up on developments, to show off great outfits, and to have fun, Chicagoans need a regular diet of activities. Happy to provide, vitality of change can be celebrated daily, assuming that stray bullets can be avoided.

• New Tradition Starts?

There is no end to amusement when inspired by good music and fine beverages. Every Sunday Miss Bea Shamrock serves the tastiest refreshments, Miss Stormy Pixelmaid offers the most hilarious and clever  jokes, and Miss Una Woodrunner uses her sense of humor to get guests to do what they normally would never consider. What self-respecting journalist can resist publishing these photos that show the folly of otherwise quite conservative and hard-working citizens? Holidays are designed to give a relief from the drudgery of everyday responsibilities. To let loose and act like rabbits is probably somehow good for the participant’s perspective, though elusive as to exactly how. Nonetheless, a good time was had by all.

bunny hop

Miss Una begins the bunny hop song, with an infectuous repetition. Mister Bronxx Moonwall leads the procession followed by good sport Miss Woodrunner, Miss Shamrock, Miss Pixelmaid, Miss Sylvan, then adding Mister Dijek Reichman.

bunny hop

Miss Woodrunner insists that she will not stop playing the bunny hop until ALL of the patrons join in—meaning Miss Medier and Doctor Writer who are so engrossed in each other's eyes that it takes them quite some time to realize what is happening. Sighing with resignation, they reluctantly join the line but soon are loosing themselves in the rhymn of "one-two-three, hop-hop-hop."

Even the generally stoic Doctor Writer joins in after consuming several glasses of blueberry juice, proving that there is no limit to the silly things a sophisticated guy will do for love. More hoppers join in as the squiggling line goes around and around the perimeter of the Chop Shop: Miss Dawn Michelle Zauber, and Miss Beckye Bernstein.

Celebrating Dedication
March 18, 2011

Prohibition doesn’t seem to inhibit Chicago entertainment style. Publicly, activities are lubricated by creative cocktails such as “Blueberry” Juice, “Snowballs,” and “Lemonade.” But privately, many households still boast of stockpiles stored in basements, personal stills in backrooms, and concealed flasks that get shared during events. Saint Patrick’s Day in Chicago is a particular challenge to legality, as everyone knows how the Irish love to drink!!!

With steins of nonalcoholic “beer,” Mayor KJ Kiranov and Miss Xyza Armistice, the consummate hosts, made up for any lack of strong refreshments with outstanding decorations and music for the St. Patrick’s Day Relay for Life Benefit Ball. In fact, to focus more on contributing to the great cause for the American Cancer Association rather than on lack of lubrication, is a healthy and worthy shift of emphasis.

X & KJ dance

Elegant and humorous, hosts Mayor KJ Kiranov and Miss Xyza Armistice entertain a festive turnout

On  All are Irish on St. Patty’s Day, and with a unifying exuberance, the political squabbles between ethnic groups were set aside for a philanthropic spirit. Such a large percentage of new residents into Chicago do come from Ireland, so respectfully finding a great excuse for a fantastic party is politically astute. Thursday evening, the ball culminated in the costume contest, drawing a healthy crowd of creatively-clad residents. And, swept up in the spirit of celebration, the amount of green outfits displayed was quite impressiveI


Always a good idea to show the most fashionable ladies demonstrates why Chicago is one of the fashion capitals of the world: Miss Bea Shamrock, Miss Nuala Maracas, and Miss Arizona all show why green is such a popular color.

The Hotel LaSalle offers the most elegant of settings for the swirling couples and self-absorbed singles. Dancing was shared by all!! And the decorations, complete with rainbows and pots of gold, a waterfall also demonstrating nature’s best color combinations, and shamrocks everywhere, all cares were cast aside! Of course those present contributed generously to the worthy cause. Sadly, the suffering targeted seemed quite far removed from such a setting. Perhaps contributing to the less-fortunate inspired the partiers to enjoy themselves even more! As a psychological benefit for helping the less fortunate, riches of experience and environment are undoubtedly enjoyed with deeper appreciation and gratitude!

St Patricks dance

Gracing the center of the dance floor, winners Miss Udinetta Shilova and Mister Bartolo Breda were irresistible.

At the end of the evening, votes were taken and winners awarded. Not surprising, the winners for the best costumes were Miss Udinetta Shilova and Mister Bartolo Breda. From the moment they arrived, their charm and elegance were central.

unsung award winners

Dancers swirl in the elegant setting of lebrichons, shamrocks, and rainbows: Miss Una Woodrunner, Miss Sylvan Shilling with Miss Stormy Pixelmaid, and Mister Shepham Moorlord with Misses Starla Huntress Moorlord.

However, if there were an award for most humorous, it would have to go to Mayor Kiranov. An award for cutest could be shared by Miss Stormy Pixelmaid and Miss Sylvan Shilling. Sexiest would have to go to Mister Shepham Moorlord and Misses Starla Huntress Moorlord. And most romantic to Miss Xyza Armistice. Best dancer would undoubtedly be appreciated by Miss Una Woodrunner. The most purposely-focused winner would be The Chicagoan‘s own Miss Eleanor Medier, who, with professional commitment, shot these pictures as she danced to the side.

st patricks day

Miss Eleanor Medier enjoys some good moves while performing her duty as journalist.

Congratulations go to those who did win for costumes and will win when the treasure hunt is over this weekend. Apparently there are pots of gold hidden around the city. Yet before they are all discovered, The Chicagoan feels obligated to highlight those who made the event happen: and those who went to such trouble to be so entertaining!


Green is a fantastic anchor color for a party—in fact the color alone is a perfect reason to dance!


Prohibition, supposedly, was enforced only for public places—hence alcohol could not be commercially sold or purchased. Privately, citizens were allowed to have alcohol inside their homes, only. Hence, most households had stills in the basement and developed a personal inventory. Rather than inspire people to drink less, prohibition inspired them to drink more at home and more creatively when in public.

Police Profitability
February 27, 2011

It pays to be sharp. Police Chief Chandler Olinger proves this through her diligent service to the grateful citizens of Chicago. After all, no one is sharper! Readers who pay attention will notice that she is always the first on the scene of any action in the city. Throughout these pages, Chief Olinger is featured frequently because she is perhaps the most interesting and complex of all residents (more on that another time—but first some breaking news about her activities!).

Particularly fascinating is how Chief Olinger is always both appropriate and ahead of any trends—and inventing new ones too! Recently, she and Miss Eleanor Medier were working on an investigation after  discovering photos in their respective offices of a beautiful carpet about to be thrown in the river with a body wrapped inside. Concerned for the destruction of valuable property, the Chief zoomed into action! By using Chicago’s finest underwater equipment, she found the carpet at the bottom of the river. Miss Medier, who likes to follow Chief Olinger around (always looking for the next hot story lead), helped her to retrieve the carpet and to dry it out. The fabric was undamaged by its soaking, and both ladies were delighted that the carpet would fit in the Chief’s apartment perfectly!!

living room

Lost carpet fits perfectly in Chief Olinger's apartment. It was used to wrap a body in and tossed carelessly into the Chicago River by allegedly an unattractive (and poorly dressed) "Bubba" who obviously has no sense of taste.

Inspired, Chief Olinger started watching more closely for objects left around the city. She was both surprised and pleased to discover how extravagent and careless gangsters can be with their possessions!! It seems they spend lavishly and throw things out just as lavishly! As any dedicated civil servant, Chief Olinger’s meager salary (she really does deserve a raise for such hard work!), she can’t even dream of affording such luxuries! But now that she has found a new side-occupation to her otherwise focused service, she is happy to contribute these photos that may encourage other worthy citizens to keep their eyes open for the very valuable castoffs of the disreputable who don’t deserve such nice things in the first place!

coffee service

This solid silver coffee set was used to weigh down a body found in the pond up by the cemetary. It cleaned up nicely and now is of great use when Chief Olinger entertains.

It seems these rich gangsters have their priorities confused when showing such little regard for their treasures! But the good news is that the more appreciative refined taste of Chief Olinger does know how to enjoy the finer things in life! Often she is the one to investigate the properties they also carelessly vacate (they must think that by moving around a lot no one will be aware of their locations!). This proves they are as careless inside as outside!!

paintings found

Works of Art worth 1000's of Lindens, with portraits of the famous like Beethoven and or Latette, and masterworks by Degas and the famed Delacrois... these paintings were found sitting in a warehouse once used by the mob.

It is unfortunate these days that the number of gangsters in Chicago seem to outnumber the police. But hopefully this story will inspire some new recruits, as the fringe benefits in cleaning out abandoned properties can be most inspiring! If these wayward souls would invest as much attention in caring for their possessions as they do in losing them, Chief Chandler would find her job much less engaging!

harpsichord played

Chief Olinger enjoys playing her harpicord that was left in a gangsters apartment. Her musical skills have improved considerably!

In Chief Olinger’s typical and most generous way, she is happy to share tips with other appreciative citizens of Chicago for how to increase the aesthetics of their own residences. It indeed does pay to wander around, though it may be at the risk of some personal safety because not far behind the treasures may be the unsavory characters in the process of discarding—or perhaps losing, as they are not known for their intelligence or discipline. Wary of the gangsters that tend to prowl around the streets unpredictably, Chief Olinger does have an advantage as a representative of the law. Hopefully the disreputable are smart enough to stay out of her way. Or perhaps they are smarter than they appear, as these treasure may be “gifts” to those watching. This however, is doubtful, as strategy is not something the gangsters seem to understand. And, there is some effort evident in their attempts to hide some of the larger items.

found car

A classic Monarach DVG 500HS Roadster found abandoned in the pond by the cemetary by the mob (the Chief just happens to now drive the same kind of car.)

It is not suggested that average citizens explore the bottom of river or pond locations, but if there are clues that valuable items have been discarded, Chief Olinger is more than happy to be of assistance in recovery. She does take great objection, however, to the destruction of treasures! She can become quite depressed when items are damaged or abused by careless disregard. So she suggests that those who wish to abandon valuables at least leave them in good shape!

ming vase found

A priceless Ming vase was used to kill this fellow in front of the new Corner Market which by the way has a great stock of fresh veggies and meats of all kinds.

Chief Olinger was even more surprised to find that there must be holes in the pockets of the expensive suits worn by many gangsters. She has even found money laying around! Objects take space and maintenance, but money isn’t generally hard to keep track of! It is proof of poor management and grooming skills that the careless don’t even value their not-hard-earned cash.

money trail

The Chief looks at a trail of money on Halsted Street wondering if it was dropped by a careless crook during a robbery or spilled out of an overstuffed suitcase carried by a gangster.

Chief Olinger vows to continue her diligent search of Chicago’s streets and alleys to not only rescue lost or stolen valuables, but to keep the area safe and clean for residents. Being a police officer is a hard job with few rewards, but one benefit of living in Chicago is that what could otherwise be a thankless occupation has become a wealth-building one. Anyone interested in helping Officer Olinger in her diligence is invited to join her while patrolling. Sometimes it takes more than one person to save treasures in peril. It would be a terrible tragedy to lose these culture-building objects! And there are few residences in this city that couldn’t use some updating. And no one can deny that Chief Olinger is a more appropriate owner of these worthy treasures.