Love is in the Air
September 28, 2011

Although citizens were not happy when Misses Starla Huntress Moorlord and Mister Shepham Moorlord—leading Chicago citizens—eloped last year, these leaders finality made up for it. Crictics speculated that the wealthiest guy in town did not want to spend the money on a fancy wedding, thus depriving residents of what they love the most: a spectacle. But second to that, everyone loves a great party, and that is what the one-year anniversary celebration provided. Finally. It took a year. But dancers and music lovers alike were pleased to celebrate the one year anniversary of Misses and Mister Moorlor’s secret nuptials. Better late than never.

Fiume anniversary party

Anniversary party at the Fiume Jazz Lounge has a huge turnout.

All the other leading citizens of Chicago had to be there. This was one of those mandatory events that if missed, will harm reputations and careers. Astute business owners—especially the undercover ones—were wise to pay their respects to those that direct all development in the city.

citizens celebrate

Residents from every social strata in the city celebrate the anniversary of Misses and Mister Moorlord, entertained first by Miss Una Woodrunner's selection of vintage tunes and then Mister Harry Frychester's quite original performance of classics—most of which are dedicated to the romantic couple paying for the party.

Such leaders as the Moorlords do set trends. Just recently, readers may recall, that Mayor KJ Kiranov eloped with the glamorous and ladylike Miss Xyza Armistice. This kind of behavior can set trends that can put catering companies and dance halls out of business. And it deprives friends, relatives, and nosey neighbors of a fun event.

Yet private marriages, while kind to the pocketbook, are also simple. Large marriages can be stressful for working professionals. So it should come as no surprise to readers that Miss Eleanor Medier betrothed Doctor Heavy Writer last weekend—with their dog and twelve of their horses as witnesses.

Medier marries Writer

The city's latest elopement, of Miss Medier and Doctor Writer, is of surprise to no one.

Private weddings can still be quite romantic if settings are carefully chosen. The more casual, with some spontaneity for spice, the better. However, this is not to say that large marriages and more formal events should not be embarked upon! There are many couples that wish to share their love with others in what then become memorable celebrations. Marriage is, after all, a type of passage—a change from thinking individually to thinking collectively.

Quixote marries Graves

The large wedding of Misses Quixote to Mister Graves is the event of the season.

Pressure is also taken off those who sneak off to get married when there are those who choose to be more generous in sharing their good fortune. Last weekend also celebrated the elegant and sumptuous wedding of Miss Paradise Quixote to Mister Mikk Graves. Misses Graves is very popular in Chicago as a favorite helper. She serves on juries, works in the bank, and dances at the Boom Boom on weekends. Mister Graves, on the other hand, is less known. He seems to be a businessman who keeps his affairs close to, or inside, his vest. Because of Miss Quixote’s large circle of friends, their wedding was the event to end the summer on a high note and satisfied the social needs of everyone there.

Chicagoans celebrate such nuptial unions as good for the city. Watching the romantic escapades of those in power is one of the population’s favorite topics for conversation. And so many romantic celebrations at once do take attention away from activities that sometimes best remain in the dark. Setting all other more serious cares aside, residents clink their collective champagne glasses, and drink to the happiness of those writing the headlines.


FLASH: From Sparks to Flames
March 23, 2011

If it is true that sex and romance sell publications, then this issue should fly off the shelves! Chicago gets steamier as spring starts thawing the icey edges of the winter-worn city! This week kicked up emotions and blood pressures as residents released pent-up winter frustrations. It is good for the city to relieve tension because too many people have been hidden quietly behind closed-doors lately which makes for some tame news days. This week made up for it with the most tantalizingly colorful developments ever!

For those residents who are under age, squeamish, or easily embarassed, this week’s activites may stretch comfort-zones. As a dedicated reader of the news in Chicago, get ready for the provocative! Three stories represent different sides of the emotional spectrum: “The Ultimate Fantasy,” “Romancing the Writer,” and “Swingingly Sweet.”

The Ultimate Fantasy

As the second largest city in the country, Chicago never takes second place in fashion, culture, entertainment, or drama. To be a great city means to offer something for everyone. Between the elegance of The Fiume, the warmth of The Boom Boom, and the casualness of Bea’s Chop Shop, it makes sense that Chicago needs a smokier and more seductive offering. So to the delight of all sensually-inclined residents, The Empire Burlesque, owned by Mister Shepham Moorlord, premiered Sunday night.

Featuring dancers Misses Starla Huntress Moorlord, Miss Una Woodrunner, and Miss Mercedes Faith, this carefully crafted and enticing show pleased the very well-behaved audience. Undoubtedly there will be more viewer participation in upcoming shows, as such sexually-rich performances are very popular. Tastefully hosted by ever-helpful Mister Dino Fyanucci, he served as a brief announcer (nothing against him personally, but avatars weren’t there to view him).

Patrons relax as the show is about to begin: Mister Clyde Haven with Miss Gwendolyn Jenvieve; Miss Bea Shamrock with Mister Jakob Faulds; Miss Debella Deceit; Mister Stevie Underby; and Miss Candy Cindy with Miss Lilone Dimitriaski.

With a comfortably crowded audience, every seat had a good view of the well-designed stage. With VIP tables in the front to plush red velvet lounging theater chairs arranged in interaction-inviting groups, the elegant theater envelopes the audience.

Wila considers

Before the show starts, Miss wilamenia Zarco contemplates: how she might dance on such a stage? But she soon gives way to those more costumed and practiced, her imagination inspired.

Magnificently staged, costumed, and narrated, the Empire Burlesque brilliantly presents the essence of seduction and fantasy. Pushing right up to the edge of appropriateness, patrons will appreciate the originality, descriptiveness, and banter. The three dancers fill a show as 30 might!! Everyone present admired the dexterity, inventiveness of moves, and choreography. As dancers shimmied through the audience, each guest could visually savor the gorgeous costumes and the beauties within them!

burlesque dance
The first show expressed a music box containing Misses Starla Huntress Moorlord as the deceptively-innocent ballarina, who is encouraged by Miss Una Woodrunner to exercize her imagination. Through seductive narrative, the dancers became lost in their interaction, movements, and descriptions.
Shepham Moorlord

Mister Shepham Moorlord, the richest businessman in town and owner of this new Empire Burlesque Theater not only has the best seat in the house, but acts as though the show was designed especially for him! Since his wife is one of the dancers, he could be right.

Surprisingly silent, the well-attended crowd must have been spell-bound by the sounds, sights, and sensations! Characteristically. Miss wilamenia Zarco had plenty to say—quips and observations almost as entertaining as what was happening onstage!

Taking viewers on a journey of personal exploration, it is possible that the men in the audience reacted a little differently than the women. When asked if they enjoyed the show the next day, the audience-women thought it was “great.” It is obvious how the men reacted, so they didn’t need to be asked.

Though normally a journalist will happily stick a hand into the flames of controversy for a good quotation; in this family-friendly publication, such daring is impossible. Quite frankly, Miss Eleanor Medier, the publisher of this writing, spends a lot of time in a variety of places, and she had never heard such creative concepts presented this way before. So, appropriately for the tone of this publication, to quote the narrative out of context would be unfair to its full impact and experience.

Mercedes Faith

Miss Mercedes Faith lights up the stage with showing how creative purple silk, or the lack thereof, can be.

Although as much colorful fashion was splendidly displayed by the ladies in the audience, all eyes were rivited to the beauties onstage. Even sometimes mingling with the crowd, the dancer’s tantalizing movements were only surpassed by their running dialogue with their fantasties! As each dancer progressed through shedding more and more fabric, discreetly Miss Medier took fewer and fewer pictures.

Starla dances

Misses Starla Huntress Moorlord could make the most resplendent peacock, and many of the ladies in the audience, blush with showing how to use the magnificent feathers in new ways.

General readerhip-friendly photographs, albeit artfully presented, can only capture one-half of the show, sorry readers. Having to be there for the rest, make sure to be over-age, fantasy-prone, and not exceedingly naive. Although Miss Medier is old enough, but with little experience in this genré, her date, Doctor Heavy Writer (story below), was more than happy to offer his help to edit these photographs in her dark room. With commitment to the publishing requirements, Miss Medier did think it best for her solo judgement to edit, though appreciative of Doctor Writer’s generous good nature.

Una's last dance

The finale is danced by Miss Una Woodrunner in respectful (or maybe not so respectful) tribute to St. Patrick's Day earlier this week.

Romancing the Writer

The city is still buzzing with questions about The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre and the events that confused the press coverage of the full story. Certainly there are guilty perpetrators at large, make no mistake, but blamed innocence also deserve to be exhonerated.

On that fateful Sunday a few weeks ago, Miss Eleanor Medier (trusted journalist for this treasured The Chicagoan publication), had an intriguing encounter with a tall dark handsome stranger in town. It may be remembered that this fussy writer also regularly criticises the fashion sense and behavior of the men in Chicago (with very few exceptions, as covered by these pages). This is perhaps why she rarely dates. Such a sarcastic nature is usually avoided by the oppostie sex! So naturally she was caught off-guard on that day, and was quite disappointed when her Prince Charming disappeared. It seemed he was distracting her from covering the biggest story of the decade! But, alas, he is innocent of any connection to the tragedies on that day.

As a prominent doctor from New York, Doctor Heavy Writer had a meeting here with the newly formed American Medical Association, who began in Chicago twenty years ago. Sadly, Doctor Writer had chosen that fateful day to check out the city, his meeting scheduled for the next morning. He had driven from New York and was staying with friends who own a nearby farm.

Possibly interested in Chicago as a good place to open up a new practice, he wanted to get a feeling for what the city had to offer, being used to the large urban environments on the east coast. He had stopped in the Boom Boom for its lengendary blueberry juice, but found it empty on that Sunday afternoon—perhaps forgetting that this is a time of prohibition. So he was delighted when an attractive potential dance partner walked into the room, dressed just as casually as he was, though she had a camera in her hand. It seemed one of those moments of fate to him. Almost too good to be true—and he had to play it cool—he did get caught up in the dance.

After meeting Miss Medier, he began to drive back to his friend’s farm, when his Model T broke down on the way. Dismayed that he had to walk the last five miles and that his friend has no telephone (only about 1/3 of the households do), it took him all night to fix his car so he could make it to his meeting the next day at the AMA Headquarters downtown.

With business concluded, Doctor Writer drove home to New York, untangled his personal affairs, and packed his bags for Chicago. Puttering and sputtering across five states, he had frequent car trouble (his first purchase after establishing himself will be a new car) and found telephones very scarce. He had thought of contacting Miss Medier, but figured he would wait until he got settled. Once he arrived, he became so tied up with meeting the right people to set up a practice, he got swept away with preparations. When he did finally show up at Miss Medier’s office, she had already written nasty things about him for distracting her from the biggest story of the decade!

the dance

Miss Eleanor Medier and Doctor Heavy Writer enjoy dancing together, sharing an eclectic taste in music and venues.

Appologies accepted on both sides, they went dancing—what else? And hence they began to spend a lot of time together. Doctor Writer and Miss Medier seem to have much to talk about, sharing similar cultural interests and concerns. They also compare an optimism about the growth and potential in Chicago. Each committed professionally, citizen’s news and health care needs of should both be expertly serviced. New in town, Doctor Writer is pleased to get to know all the residents and to help with any mishaps that physically befall them in the daily drama of the Chicago streets.


Miss Medier and Doctor Writer enjoy many recreational features available in Northern Illinois.

Swingingly Sweet

After all the formality, drama, and romance of Chicago’s recent events or activities, there is no better way to release tensions and relax with friends than at Bea’s Chop Shop. Unwind to fun tunes by 20s greats and sway with the jazzy bluesy flavor, thus the romance of the era is enhanced.


More casual than the other clubs in Chicago, Bea's Chop Shop is a hidden speakeasy that enjoys patronage from every level of society. Since they are secretly enjoying themselves, it is best not to identify them in this caption.

Singles and couples alike enjoy this venue—though many alone may not stay that way. Chicago is a romantic place, the era spiced with new freedoms in fashion, behavior, and acceptibility. Speakeasys bring all these factors together, encapsulating the flavor of the corner hidden smoke-music-filled club. Bea’s Chop Shop, owned by Miss Bea Shamrock comes the closest to capturing the environment, experience, and even fantasy of the times.


Although burlesque was developed in the middle of the previous century, its risque form and carefree atmosphere fit in well with the Roaring 20s. Purposely created to satire popular norms, stretch acceptable conventions, and push what is appropriate, it was generally irreverent and bawdy. The amount of sexual innuendos and strip tease performances varied considerably. In Chicago, competition between theaters caused them to become less satirical and more sexual, creating voluptuously glamourous stars. The Jazz Age Chicago reports: “Performances by Chicago’s burlesque stars were among the bawdiest and most risque in the nation. By the 1920s, striptease acts involving partial or total nudity were standard fare at most of the city’s burlesque theaters.”