Love is in the Air
September 28, 2011

Although citizens were not happy when Misses Starla Huntress Moorlord and Mister Shepham Moorlord—leading Chicago citizens—eloped last year, these leaders finality made up for it. Crictics speculated that the wealthiest guy in town did not want to spend the money on a fancy wedding, thus depriving residents of what they love the most: a spectacle. But second to that, everyone loves a great party, and that is what the one-year anniversary celebration provided. Finally. It took a year. But dancers and music lovers alike were pleased to celebrate the one year anniversary of Misses and Mister Moorlor’s secret nuptials. Better late than never.

Fiume anniversary party

Anniversary party at the Fiume Jazz Lounge has a huge turnout.

All the other leading citizens of Chicago had to be there. This was one of those mandatory events that if missed, will harm reputations and careers. Astute business owners—especially the undercover ones—were wise to pay their respects to those that direct all development in the city.

citizens celebrate

Residents from every social strata in the city celebrate the anniversary of Misses and Mister Moorlord, entertained first by Miss Una Woodrunner's selection of vintage tunes and then Mister Harry Frychester's quite original performance of classics—most of which are dedicated to the romantic couple paying for the party.

Such leaders as the Moorlords do set trends. Just recently, readers may recall, that Mayor KJ Kiranov eloped with the glamorous and ladylike Miss Xyza Armistice. This kind of behavior can set trends that can put catering companies and dance halls out of business. And it deprives friends, relatives, and nosey neighbors of a fun event.

Yet private marriages, while kind to the pocketbook, are also simple. Large marriages can be stressful for working professionals. So it should come as no surprise to readers that Miss Eleanor Medier betrothed Doctor Heavy Writer last weekend—with their dog and twelve of their horses as witnesses.

Medier marries Writer

The city's latest elopement, of Miss Medier and Doctor Writer, is of surprise to no one.

Private weddings can still be quite romantic if settings are carefully chosen. The more casual, with some spontaneity for spice, the better. However, this is not to say that large marriages and more formal events should not be embarked upon! There are many couples that wish to share their love with others in what then become memorable celebrations. Marriage is, after all, a type of passage—a change from thinking individually to thinking collectively.

Quixote marries Graves

The large wedding of Misses Quixote to Mister Graves is the event of the season.

Pressure is also taken off those who sneak off to get married when there are those who choose to be more generous in sharing their good fortune. Last weekend also celebrated the elegant and sumptuous wedding of Miss Paradise Quixote to Mister Mikk Graves. Misses Graves is very popular in Chicago as a favorite helper. She serves on juries, works in the bank, and dances at the Boom Boom on weekends. Mister Graves, on the other hand, is less known. He seems to be a businessman who keeps his affairs close to, or inside, his vest. Because of Miss Quixote’s large circle of friends, their wedding was the event to end the summer on a high note and satisfied the social needs of everyone there.

Chicagoans celebrate such nuptial unions as good for the city. Watching the romantic escapades of those in power is one of the population’s favorite topics for conversation. And so many romantic celebrations at once do take attention away from activities that sometimes best remain in the dark. Setting all other more serious cares aside, residents clink their collective champagne glasses, and drink to the happiness of those writing the headlines.


Celebrating Dedication
March 18, 2011

Prohibition doesn’t seem to inhibit Chicago entertainment style. Publicly, activities are lubricated by creative cocktails such as “Blueberry” Juice, “Snowballs,” and “Lemonade.” But privately, many households still boast of stockpiles stored in basements, personal stills in backrooms, and concealed flasks that get shared during events. Saint Patrick’s Day in Chicago is a particular challenge to legality, as everyone knows how the Irish love to drink!!!

With steins of nonalcoholic “beer,” Mayor KJ Kiranov and Miss Xyza Armistice, the consummate hosts, made up for any lack of strong refreshments with outstanding decorations and music for the St. Patrick’s Day Relay for Life Benefit Ball. In fact, to focus more on contributing to the great cause for the American Cancer Association rather than on lack of lubrication, is a healthy and worthy shift of emphasis.

X & KJ dance

Elegant and humorous, hosts Mayor KJ Kiranov and Miss Xyza Armistice entertain a festive turnout

On  All are Irish on St. Patty’s Day, and with a unifying exuberance, the political squabbles between ethnic groups were set aside for a philanthropic spirit. Such a large percentage of new residents into Chicago do come from Ireland, so respectfully finding a great excuse for a fantastic party is politically astute. Thursday evening, the ball culminated in the costume contest, drawing a healthy crowd of creatively-clad residents. And, swept up in the spirit of celebration, the amount of green outfits displayed was quite impressiveI


Always a good idea to show the most fashionable ladies demonstrates why Chicago is one of the fashion capitals of the world: Miss Bea Shamrock, Miss Nuala Maracas, and Miss Arizona all show why green is such a popular color.

The Hotel LaSalle offers the most elegant of settings for the swirling couples and self-absorbed singles. Dancing was shared by all!! And the decorations, complete with rainbows and pots of gold, a waterfall also demonstrating nature’s best color combinations, and shamrocks everywhere, all cares were cast aside! Of course those present contributed generously to the worthy cause. Sadly, the suffering targeted seemed quite far removed from such a setting. Perhaps contributing to the less-fortunate inspired the partiers to enjoy themselves even more! As a psychological benefit for helping the less fortunate, riches of experience and environment are undoubtedly enjoyed with deeper appreciation and gratitude!

St Patricks dance

Gracing the center of the dance floor, winners Miss Udinetta Shilova and Mister Bartolo Breda were irresistible.

At the end of the evening, votes were taken and winners awarded. Not surprising, the winners for the best costumes were Miss Udinetta Shilova and Mister Bartolo Breda. From the moment they arrived, their charm and elegance were central.

unsung award winners

Dancers swirl in the elegant setting of lebrichons, shamrocks, and rainbows: Miss Una Woodrunner, Miss Sylvan Shilling with Miss Stormy Pixelmaid, and Mister Shepham Moorlord with Misses Starla Huntress Moorlord.

However, if there were an award for most humorous, it would have to go to Mayor Kiranov. An award for cutest could be shared by Miss Stormy Pixelmaid and Miss Sylvan Shilling. Sexiest would have to go to Mister Shepham Moorlord and Misses Starla Huntress Moorlord. And most romantic to Miss Xyza Armistice. Best dancer would undoubtedly be appreciated by Miss Una Woodrunner. The most purposely-focused winner would be The Chicagoan‘s own Miss Eleanor Medier, who, with professional commitment, shot these pictures as she danced to the side.

st patricks day

Miss Eleanor Medier enjoys some good moves while performing her duty as journalist.

Congratulations go to those who did win for costumes and will win when the treasure hunt is over this weekend. Apparently there are pots of gold hidden around the city. Yet before they are all discovered, The Chicagoan feels obligated to highlight those who made the event happen: and those who went to such trouble to be so entertaining!


Green is a fantastic anchor color for a party—in fact the color alone is a perfect reason to dance!


Prohibition, supposedly, was enforced only for public places—hence alcohol could not be commercially sold or purchased. Privately, citizens were allowed to have alcohol inside their homes, only. Hence, most households had stills in the basement and developed a personal inventory. Rather than inspire people to drink less, prohibition inspired them to drink more at home and more creatively when in public.

If He Builds It, They Will Come
January 21, 2011

For a guy determined to stay out of the news (but not, perhaps, away from the camera), his influence in Chicago is pervasive. There is not a moment that residents are unaware of choices he has made. Bureau of Investigation Chief Shepham Moorlord is the tough/tender leader who has set the stage for creative intrigue.

As the richest guy in town, believe it or not, Chief Moorlord tries hard not to throw his money around. No, he hides his extravagant lifestyle (which of course he deserves) extremely well—and who can fault him for his exquisite penthouse, luxurious lake/river side office, his opulent mansion in the country, or his $1000L suits? It is Chief Moorlord that supports the greatest of the city’s potential.

Chief Shep Moorlord

Chief Moorlord always looks dapper in any situation.

All citizens know that Chief Moorlord is the city’s own power-behind-the politics (peek under the tent of any career politician and observe that there is always a king-maker). Mute on commentary most of the time, Chief tries to stay far out of the way of flying bullets, ladies emoting (except for his own Misses Starla Huntress Moorlord), and how people furnish their houses. Citizens must understand that the Chief has provided an amazing stage for domestic bliss but does not wish to inhibit their creative use.

Since gaining a fortune in his business (whatever that is) and rising to economic control, the Chief holds the purse-strings so coveted by many. He has proven his sound judgment and astute business sense. The facilities available to the citizens of Chicago for keeping peacefully occupied are unparalleled. And the city’s popularity grows as new faces are attracted to his club, The Fiume—always the best place in town to make an entrance and to rub shoulders with the rich, powerful, and a few, famous. Visiting the newest attractions to this hard-working city inspires the imagination:

Many new citizens are looking for ways to fit in the city quickly, meet a lot of people, and make profitable use of their time. Miss Xyza Armistice, the First Lady of Chicago, welcomes all newcomers to her newly remodeled employment agency, conveniently located near the court house. (Those getting in trouble in one place can go across the street to immediately mend their ways.)

Chicago Employment Agency

The employment agency, run by Miss Armistice, is the best resource for new law-abiding citizens to discover a sense of purpose and heal any identity crisis.

Mayor KJ Kiranov is often seen visiting Miss Armistice in her office when he takes a break from fishing in the Chicago River (he sells the best poles and fish to catch). He commented while relaxing in one of Miss Armistice’s sumputous leather arm chairs, that the city is in great need of law enforcement officers, club workers, and taxi drivers.

This as yet to be discovered jewel is just waiting to ignite as a hot hang out spot. Beautifully appointed, the pool hall begs for a gathering with glamorous owner Miss Samantha Seranno to learn a few game rules and then watch out Chicago! The pool table is so inviting that a few of The Chicagoan reporters are starting to cast their eyes upon it as a place to negotiate some editorial terms. As all citizens know, pool is a game of cunning, humor, and strategy. And for those who find bad luck in poor shot choices, there is always the trusted dart board upon which to express frustration.

Miss Sam's Pool Hall

Miss Sam's Pool Hall will soon offer free and quick lessons in the finer arts of gaming, aiming, and strategy.

Watch for notices about upcoming gatherings. Several residents are anxious to find others upon which to test their skills (a healthy group of pool hall players might exchange a few tommy guns for cues). Miss Seranno also has postings with Miss Armistice’s Chicago Employment Agency, as a new business such as this will need a good staff of managers and assistants. Chicago is delighted to welcome her as the quintessential entrepreneur; the ladies must not miss Miss Seranno’s main business that funds such fun attractions as a service to the community, Miss Sam’s Pearls on Michigan Avenue north of the river. (Please don’t tell anyone this was published, but there is a cute Speakeasy upstairs with more gaming options!)

Of course everyone needs money. How the city has functioned since the bank robbery last month must have several readers wondering! But fortunately Miss Paradise Quixote stepped up, ready for a career change, and is now the gorgeous new Bank President and Cashier. Residents were thrilled to dig the money out from under their beds or from their hat boxes and can now safely entrust it to the newly retrofitted vault. The last vault, of course, didn’t do too much good when the terrifed cashier was forced to open it at gunpoint and thus donate all of the richest guy in town’s proceeds into the hands of a stranger. Naturally this richest guy’s wife wasn’t too happy about this occurance, as there are budgets to be met and payrolls to be made. But no matter now because the bank is in new and very capable hands.

citizens happy to make deposits

Citizens are thrilled to line up to deposit their money. Photograph contributed by Judge Want2 Tinkel to demonstrate the trustworthiness of the reopened establishment.

For anyone coveting funds in the vault that they did not place there, perhaps knowing a few of the investors will dissuade any mischief, putting faces on the trusting and virtuous citizens of this great city. Athough money is the ultimate prize for any criminal activity, there are now much easier ways to gain currency without stealing it from these worthy citizens. And who would want to cause lovely Miss Quixote any stress? So The Chicagoan encourages anyone plotting against this worthy establishment to target their ambitions elsewhere.

Bank opening

Elegant Miss Quixote finds a new career as a bank president, Judge Tinkel is delighted to deposit what might be the city's money, the bank reopens with fanfare, and progress is guarded by the bravest of all civil servants, Chief Chandler Olinger. Photographs contributed by Chief Olinger to remind citizens whom they are dealing with.


This, the most controversial of all the new openings, is so hidden that reporters had trouble finding it! Behind unmarked and unremarkable warehouse doors, through a somewhat empty receiving room, patrons must know the secret button to open a door disguised by empty bookshelves. The disguish could be a little better, for seeing such shelves totally empty could make anyone wandering in from the street wonder what is going on in there. But, it is enough to fool the police—most of the time. They, too, wish to enter clandestinely, so what photos are published here should be kept confidential. Don’t forget that there is also the challenge of getting past a welcoming character such as Mister Darknight Dastardly, so the screening of patrons is discreet.

characters at casino

Characters likely to be encountered when visiting the secret casino: Mister Dastardly who is frequently at the door, Mister Doug Marker who demonstrates his financial astuteness, Miss Inferna Marker who seems happy being amongst the activity, Miss Jadelicious Crystal who graces any establishment with her unique beauty, and Mister Big Jim Colosimo who rarely shows up anywhere during daylight hours

Although the business hours of the casino are not revealed, the patrons are unpredictable, and money flows a little questionably, this newest of all the establishments may prove to be one if the most secretly popular. In a community with an accelerating nightlife (Chicago is known for its vigorous business climate during the day), great new shops to buy the lastest fashions, having somewhere to  show off outfits, the casino is a great place to throw money around. Afterall, at the root of all commerce lies a capitalist nature, taking business strategy to a new height.

Casino patrons

Never knowing who will be seen, prominent and wealthy residents of every societal segment are bound to be found late at night with competing bets. Miss Bea Shamrock looks ravishing in white, Mister Korii Latour is much less ravaging and could use a haircut, Miss Kellygirl Oxley is sophisticated and sleek, Mister Pierre Linette is known to have too much fun, and even the most elegant of all the ladies, Miss Kitten Leaky and Miss Armistice might display a naughtier side.

Readers should not notice that Mayor KJ Kiranov is also a frequent patron, taking a break from his fishing career during the day. The Chicagoan, who wishes to be tasteful, refrains from shooting too many close pictures of city officials in this most gracious and exciting of establishments. It is suggested that all those who love to click their cameras do the same.


The casino boasts patrons from every social station, including (but don't tell) the Mayor. With many choices of gambling selections and opportunities, the casino is sure to be a success.

More Than Pretty Faces
January 17, 2011

Chicago’s ladies are some of the best and brightest in the world. Because the world has come to Chicago! Why shouldn’t the city boast the best when new residents from other countries are doubling its population? As new groups build neighborhoods, shop in the stores for the latest fashions, and frequent the many attractions the city has to offer, why shouldn’t the cream of the crop surface? Visit the city at any time of the day or evening, and there is a mix of residents and visitors—if quiet at the moment, just wait around a bit. And much happens behind clothed doors!

But part of the most colorful and joyous attraction of the city has to be the ladies who know how to step out in style. The men have a bit of catching up to do, so while focusing on the feminine leadership and the mention of closed doors, several examples come to mind.

Miss Pasha’s Postcards, photographs contributed by Miss Pasha Felisimo

Chicago, these days, doesn’t see enough of the lovely Miss Pasha Felisimo about town. Very busy with her fashion consulting, travels, and personal relationships she won’t discuss, Miss Pasha is generous to offer a contribution of not only how she looks these days but to show off some of the best designs internationally. Visiting the best haute couture designers, Miss Felisimo has her favorites to share with the eager readers.


Miss Felisimo poses in the latest. Fashions: Sonatta Morales; Shoes: Babara by Stiletto Moody; Jewelry: Bandit

Truly cosmopolitan in every way, Miss Felisimo exemplifies the ladies of Chicago in her astute aesthetic instincts and delicate finger on the pulse of trends. Pleased to present Miss Pasha’s Postcards from afar, the other ladies of Chicago can’t help but be inspired.

Still on the run, discovering collections around the globe, Miss Felisimo did tell The Chicagoan when reached on the overseas wire: “I love the style, elegance, and quality of the Sonatta Morales collection. The sheer class that Stiletto Moody shoes bring to compliment any outfit and make you feel like a million dollars…!!” And, of course, Miss Felisimo does look like a million dollars!


Miss Felisimo is pleased to be of advice to anyone who needs help with wardrobe decisions. Her style could not be more visionary.

And to Chicago’s delight, Sonatta Morales has just opened in the greatest of American cities! It is quite an astute business move—epecially after a nice portrayal such as this. However, Chicago is ahead of the trends with the also internationally renowned  Goddess Apparel or Star Child Design, the classic Cilian ‘Oel 1920 Boutique or Xan’s Closet, and there are the not-to-be-missed Dilah’s Design, the new lovely Curious Seamstress or  Miss Sam’s Pearls. The observant will discover the new Eclectica (a grand opening would be nice) and the rather recent Swank Brothers that the men of the city so badly need. Chicago grows and changes all the time! So don’t miss the opportunity to take a nice stroll down Michigan Avenue!

Miss Medier’s Madness, Miss Gartenberg’s Giggles

Everyone knows that The Chicagoan‘s own Editor-in-Chief Miss Eleanor Medier is a workaholic. During most evenings, she has her fingers in photo developer instead of silk gloves. But to eliminate any idea that she is a wallflower and has no sense of humor, that she is always pursuing a story (well, this may be true), and has little of what other people call fun, she decided enough is enough. First of all, Miss Medier finds work fun! And secondly, she took offense when recently accused of being in “a shell.” Well that is just simply intolerable!

So when her good friend Miss Xyza Armistice telephoned her at the office one morning, Miss Medier set aside her typewriter to join her friend at a shop. Afterall, Miss Armistice is a very good friend and it isn’t nice not to do what a friend asks. Unsure of what Miss Armistice was up to, Miss Medier was caught by surprise! There was the most perfect gown ever—and in Miss Armistice’s exquisite tastes—perfect for a statement that provides an answer to Miss Medier’s dismay.


Miss Xyza Armistice is very camera-shy. The Chicagoan, with an extensive library of portraits, had to dig back to find an unpublished one. From the files, this shot captures a moment on that magic day when Miss Medier met Miss Armistice at the Miss Roaring 20s beauty pageant while crowning Miss Gartenberg. Miss Armistice was the hostess for the event and notice her gorgeous gown. It also recalls her great sucess with the pageant. This rare photo also proves that Miss Armistice sneaks around Chicago inspiring people versus allowing the camera to focus upon herself.

So pleased at the help from Miss Armistice because shopping really takes a lot of time away from the photo dark room, Miss Medier aquired the gorgeous gown with great enthusiasm. She had had an epiphany—one of those “ah-ha” moments that artists get so addicted to. She realized that going to hear fantastic music and wearing a great gown are a lot more important than not being asked to dance by the wimpy guys in Chicago. It just seems, laments Miss Medier, that the couples monopolize the dance floor. So if a girl is single, what is she to do? Stand there?? Hah! Yes indeed, if clad in a dress so gorgeous! Who cares about dancing then?! She realized that it is all about the dress—and when strutting one’s stuff, music is a lot more fun.

gigi in red

Miss Gartenberg is ravishing in red while posing on a veranda over seas—and in this case, by the sea. As Miss Roaring 20s, she has been on-the-go for months now.

Thinking it might be nice to bring friends along too that often feel the same way, Miss Medier had just received a phone call from Miss Gigi Gartenberg, coming home for a visit between travels. Miss Gartenberg takes her role as Miss Roaring 20s very seriously. She  has been representing this great city around the globe. Known for her fun loving nature, she was the perfect companion and even wore a complimentary dress.

Both Miss Armistice and Miss Gartenberg made their entrances along side Miss Medier into the Fiume Jazz Club on Friday night. Once positioned in a visually advantageous spot, Miss Medier was amused that Miss Gartenberg suggested that they dance together. Hence, a lovely interlude of swirling silk and lace! Others too seemed to enjoy the combination.

Ele and Gigi dance

Miss Gartenberg asked Miss Medier to dance—showing off their gowns to better advantage.

Glancing about after her harsh criticisms of the wimpy men in Chicago—the single ones that is—Miss Medier does look for evidence to the contrary. It is, afterall, her job as a journalist to be fair. As it happens, she did spot one gentleman that looked like he could dance and smoke at the same time! He must have noticed her glance, because shortly after he arrived, this mysterious newcomer cut-in on Miss Gartenberg and swirled Miss Medier through the last few numbers, thus proving maybe she should reconsider her criticism.

Pleased with her night out, Miss Medier has now returned to the business at hand. After all, readers demand updates and perspectives on new developments. Gorgeous gown aside, there is a job to do.

It is said that women dress more for other women than they do for men. But in Chicago, they truly dress for both—and most importantly, for themselves. However, this is not to say they don’t immediately eye eachother up and down before pursuing conversation of any depth. There are those who may wonder if Miss Medier, who follows fashions more closely on pages than in her closet, had fun on Friday night. When asked, she just winks and smiles enigmatically, only revealing that “it is all in the dress.